What Was The Flood Even For?

The only good things the flood killed were insects like cockroaches and mosquitoes, but knowing those mufuckas, they lived.

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As a side note, there's no way those animals wouldn't have shit enough to kill eight people. But they don't tell you that in Sabbath School.
As a side note, there’s no way those animals wouldn’t have shit enough to kill eight people. But they don’t tell you that in Sabbath School.

And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually…And the Lord said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth…” (Genesis 6:5,7)

And so begins another installment of, “Didn’t you know how this was going to go?” So there are a few questions I would like to ask about the Noah story.

  1. Given God’s omniscience as explained through the Bible and by other Christians, didn’t God know about all the wickedness that would come up in the land? Was he really surprised about that? And if he knew that it would come up, why didn’t he do anything about it?

    I’ve heard Christians excuse away things like God’s order for the slaughter of Amalekite children in 1 Samuel 15 because perhaps he knew what they would grow to become. If God, in any measure is capable of quelling the greatest evils before they start, and he certainly knew about this one beforehand, why is it that the Gen 6 story picks up at the point where everyone but eight people has thoughts that are “only evil continually?”This suggests that he not only knew from the beginning of Creation that he would drown these people, and that he would regret doing it, and yet it changed none of his actions.

  2. Genesis 6:6 actually says that it grieved or repented the Lord to have made mankind. In other words, he regretted it. A query, if I may: Then why the fuck did you do it? If this is true (and it is not), this means that God, at the point of Creation, knowingly did something that he would regret later. That’s the “getting shitfaced and calling your ex” caliber of decision making we don’t typically associate with a perfect being.
  3. Here’s the biggest question: What did the Flood even do? For starters, it supposedly killed everything on the planet, which it would behoove us to remember, self-interested as we are, includes more than just humans. Beavers, hedgehogs, platypuses, hippopotami, elephants, walking catfish, dolphins, mountain goats, and honey badgers, every single one of them dead.
    “Yo, Hitler, I’mma let you finish in a minute, but I had the most thorough genocide of all time. Of all time!”

    Also, even though I’m no Mark Watney, I happen to know that most plants will die if you put them underwater for a year. So there’s all those dead things. The only good things the flood killed were insects like cockroaches and mosquitoes, but knowing those mufuckas, they lived.

    What was the point of the Flood? So everything is dead except a handful of animals and a fingerful of people, and now what? The people will copulate, and birth more people that you ostensibly also grant the same free will to, and some of them will choose to be evil while some will choose to be good. It was a senseless genocide, because nothing changed, and even you yourself feel like maybe, possibly, you should’ve not done that, and you knew you’d feel that way before you did it.

    Keep up the stellar work.

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2 thoughts on “What Was The Flood Even For?”

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