I Surrender None


Jesus answered, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’ (John 14:6)

For our purposes, I’ll forget that Jesus didn’t really mention why getting to the Father was a worthy or desirable goal, and we’ll pretend that it is. But the thing that Jesus is getting at is that he is it. He’s the big kahuna, the grand cheese, the alpha wolf. He’s the beefy bouncer of the BBMSC, otherwise known as Daddy’s “Big Bad Magical Sky Club.”

Matthew 10:33 is basically God’s version of ‘You’re not on the list!’

And let’s take this where most Christians take it. You can’t get to God without Jesus. Jesus is the way, the truth, the life. Jesus is everything.

Just like my posts about the Gruth Creed, Christians get themselves into a guglajark of trouble when they go full monty. The full monty that Christians are willing to go is the primary thing that makes these beliefs indefensible and non-sensical. Instead of being a kind and loving being, God is the strongest, biggest, baddest, knows everything, can do anything, etc. It sounds like a couple of kids arguing about whose dad is stronger…or just any interaction with Draco Malfoy. Instead of being merely reflective of an objective quality of truth, God IS truth. Instead of being simply a wise teacher, instead of being a dude who said some cool stuff and some weird stuff too, Jesus has to be everything.

It’s quite common in my ex-faith to hear a pastor ironically quote the lyrics of a particular hymn. Once he (apparently, they have to have serious talks about it being a her, but that’s a different topic) gets to the pulpit, he will recite this schtick:

I love that song we heard earlier from Cherylann. It’s beautiful, isn’t it? ‘I Surrender Some.’ [cue ill-placed intentional chuckle]. Cuz that’s what God requires of us, right? 60 percent. 80 percent? No! It’s called ‘I Surrender ALL for a reason, right, church?

Sounds a lot like a Ouija board.

Or hypnosis.

Or palm reading.

Or mind reading.

Or fortune telling.

Or tarot cards.

Or horoscopes

Or any other thing at all that’s total bullshit.

This is the absurdity of faith, it starts with the most ridiculous thing that you can’t believe and promises that if instead of using that brain of yours, instead of noticing that Noah’s Ark quite simply did not happen, that donkeys and snakes do not talk, and that you’ve never seen touched tasted felt smelled this omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent being who exists outside of our dimension, is not bound by the laws of time and space, and sent his Son to die for you…you should just not. I don’t wanna put too fine a point on it, but…

The point of it all is that what those Christians are saying is true. We’ve seen a lot in the decline of Christianity by Christians trying to reconcile their faith with their reason, but I’ve never seen anyone do it. And the point that the other Christians are making is a good one: Either you’re gonna go the full monty, or you might as well not go at all.

And when you realize what the full monty actually is, what you commit to when you swear fealty to and sign your life and being over to that Jewish zombie, you might realize why I think I’m the reasonable one.

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Twitter: @Ame0baRepublic


2 thoughts on “I Surrender None”

  1. A Christian vs a Muslim argument would be something like this:

    “my sky fairy is stronger than yours!”
    “well my one is all powerful”
    “mine is even more powerful than yours!”
    “*quoting random bible verse*”
    “that’s a lie!”
    “no it isn’t!”
    “yes it is!”
    and so on, so forth…

    giving a god omnipotence and omniscience is a really stupid thing to do, not only do people start killing each other over who’s imaginary friend is real, but like you said, it’s like schoolchildren arguing over who’s dad is better.

    Liked by 1 person

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